Yes, it does get better than this

Don't quite know where to start this one, so many thoughts, people that need to be fixed....but seriously....
I think that I have come to the conclusion that, there will always be things and people that are broken and cannot be fixed. I insist on banging my head against the wall, trying to figure out how I can fix this or that, or save this or that. I need to let it go... I can't fix everything. I did try just today to stitch together two pieces of batting to make one bigger one, that I needed for a quilt... bad idea, like I said you can't fix everything.
I do admit that I like to be in control of things, but thats not the same thing as a control freak.
Apparantly what happens over a period of time, when one insists on trying to do what everyone around them would have them to do, said person becomes convinced that their own thoughts, must be wrong somehow.
I have recently been to the wall and back with feelings of despair over being told by one of my adult children, that I failed.
Are you kidding me? Where was I when this happened?
Was I cooking too many dinners?, Was I tucking them in too much, or reading too much, or hugging too much? Did I not support them or discipline enough?
Guess I will file this under WTH???

Lets all blame everyone else

When did it become ok to just blame everyone else for everything that is wrong in your own life?
Are you kidding me?
Why do some people insist that everything that is wrong in their world can be traced back to something someone else did, or in most cases (didnt do for them) ?
I am in shock most of the time these days, just listening.

I feel criticized for speaking my mind, and for not speaking my mind. Either way, its lose lose.
We can't do this or that, or we will hurt this persons feelings. If we spend too much time, or are to friendly with one person too much, we are  stealing them from someone else. Seriously?
People want to put you in a box, wrap it up tight, and take you out when they need you and put you back in for a rainy day, or when they need you to write them a check, or keep their kids.
Oh and if I don't want anything to do with you for weeks at a time, thats fine too...but don't you dare have anything to do with anyone I don't like.
This will begin my WTF file...

For now I will just have to think of happier times and happier places:)

Yes its Hot!!

Ok, we have established that its Hot!!

Well, it is Texas, and it is almost July, its gonna be hot.

I love hearing people complaining about the heat, I do it myself. But are you kidding me?. I mean think about where we live. I try to remember all those cold days, and think about when I was shivering on a tennis court, freezing to death, and the wind blowing so hard, I wanted to cry.

I think I’ll take the heat, at least we dont have gale force winds now.

My theory is this, you can figure out how to cool off, but when its cold... its just cold... brrr!!!

Any why do the hot flashes never ever hit when you are freezing to death,? noooo, they always hit when you are already hot and sticky, makes you want to choke someone, anyone. 

I love the summer, and with the exception of the bugs... its almost perfect for me. I grew up in West Texas, where its really hot, and as a kid went barefoot most of the summer, those are my hot memories, at least now I have air conditioning, and not one of those air cooler things in the window that blows cool water on you, and you only got to be cool if you had one in your room. We had only one in our house, and that was in the living room, so I am thinking its way better now. just sayin. It just seems like we never knew that it could be better so we didnt know, and I dont remember complaining about the heat or ever thinking, “wah!!!, its hot!!!”

So we are taking a vacation this year, with our best buds, Brent and Donna Cooper.

Going to Hawaii... yay, countdown has already begun, 7 weeks and 5 days until we leave. We have been planning this for a year, can you say ready?

We will split nine days between Kauai, and Maui.

I have been to Kauai once,  and Maui twice. This will  be our first trip that is not with Oracle, so its not a working trip.

We keep joking that we may not come back.

I  want to do all the things we never had time to do on our previous trips. More snorkeling, more hiking, and more relaxing.  And more pina coladas :) I am considering not taking my phone. 

I tend to absorb other peoples stress, so that could turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

Chuck says I am too accessible, I dont know about that, I just love my family and friends, and I like being there when they need me. It will be hard to leave my phone, but it might be the best thing to do, ... we’ll see :)

I am working hard to get into better shape, I have lost a few pounds, but they always seem to find me again.

Working out regular gets harder every year.

Everything hurts, and I’m always thinking, why am I doing this? I do like the feeling afterwards, but hate every minute of  the in between, and especially the cardio.  We have our own workout room at home now, so I only go to the gym to do legs mostly. Sometimes arms, I hate free weights, and since I screwed up my elbow with the dumb kettleball, I feel a bit more controlled with the machines.

Donna and I decided to get our swimsuit shopping out of the way, before everything was picked over in the stores....

That is always such a downer. I cannot look like that person in the mirror.

I am way hotter than that. She has jiggly stuff, I dont :)

We had a lot of fun, laughing at each other and  ourselves, so it was really much better to do that as a team.

Its just nice to have someone there that isnt as critical of you as you are :)

I have been enjoying spending a lot of time with my four older grandkids that live close to us, I get them some days that their mother works.

I like having them around, and cooking for them, and all that stuff; they think we are  cool grandparents, so  we try to live up to that :)

My oldest grandaughter is getting her drivers license this week. 

Dang where did all the time go?, I remember her as just a little chubby girl, wearing a little mermaid costume just like it was yesterday, and now she is so grown up.

I love them all, they each have their own distinct personality, that most of the time I love, and sometimes makes me crazy, but I wouldnt have it any other way.

I think Melissa has done an awesome job, I dont know how she does it.

So we got to travel to Georgia in May to see Mark, Ashley and the kids... oh my gosh they are getting so big. I love them to pieces, and I was such a crybaby when we left. Its so hard not to get to see them on a regular basis, and seems the time flies when we are there:(

They were going to come to visit this summer, but now plans have changed and they cant make it.

We hope to get to seem them this Christmas.

I am planning a big family get together the first part of August... cant wait to catch up with all the "good stuff", and hang with the brothers, etc...not to mention all the eating that we Lightfoots can do:)

We flew to Palm Springs this spring also, and visited with Chucks parents a few days, it was a nice visit, I love the weather there, cool in the mornings and when we were there, it wasnt too hot in the afternoon yet.

July will be a long month, Melissas kids go to their dads for the month, and that means we dont get to see them. So I will be in big time withdrawal by the end of the month. I do think ( I know), I will finish my quilt during this time, and I am also taking on another project, and that is learning about stock trading. I am excited about this, something I have always wanted to do, and have dabbled a bit here and there, but never gotten serious before now.

I am still writing, and editing, editing editing...

Tennis is good, I have cut back a bit, on the amount of time I play, and I am only doing doubles and mixed doubles....as I am doing more weight training and cardio now. Its just too hot, and I am getting too old to be out in the heat for so long. I am not doing any singles this summer. Maybe will start playing some again this fall.

We have had a lot of drama in our family over the past few months, I am hoping that has started to wind down, I can only hope, and pray...

I cant count the number of times that I shook my phone so hard as though I was choking someone...it was good too, I am a good visualizer... and I choked one person so hard in my mind, they should probably still have some bruises on their neck :) just sayin!! :)

A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Ok, I am just going to gripe about one thing before I close...

Why is it that some people think they can say whatever they want, whenever they want, to whomever they want, without any regard to who they might hurt when they say it?, But if you dare to say what you think back, they are stunned and shocked to the core?

I just dont get this.....

They go around saying stuff with no thought, while the rest of us carefully control what we say (mostly), because we dont like to hurt peoples feelings. Seriously?, 

There are just so many dumb people.... Not enough time to choke them all :)

They do not listen to, or hear themselves... its just,  blah blah, me,  blah blah, me, .. all day long..

There is an old saying that goes like this...

"Its better to keep your mouth closed, and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"!! 

Stay cool!!

Its all Good!!

So here we are, a brand new year... 01/01/2011... Seems really weird to even think about or write it out.

I’m glad its a fresh new year. I’m ready to blow out the torch on the old one. :) I have lots of plans for this New Year, God willing, I will make a few changes. 

At the very top of my list....is my need to  put God first in my life, no more back burner. He deserves front row... He puts me first, so its the least I can do :)

I cant say I really have any new years resolutions, but I am planning on trying to pray more, give more...eat healthier, work out a little more diligently, and more often.

I want to be a better listener, slower to speak, and slower to interject my own thoughts before the other person is finished talking.... more conscientious, less nervous about how I am perceived.  I have got to stop this never ending war within myself about it being my responsibility that everyone around me is happy, and that its my job to make them happy whether they want to be or not. 

Seriously, even when I write it and read it it sounds ridiculous, but still my quest to make everyone “ok” is making me nuts.

When will I get it?.. that It isnt up to me? There I said it!!

But will I put into practice what I preach? That will be tough for me.

I can be better at not letting petty things get to me.

I need to learn to let things out a little bit when they bother me, (without sarcasm),  not bottle them up until I explode and say horrible things that I cannot unsay.

I cannot say with any certainty that I wont lose my temper, it happens at least twice a year, I insert my foot right in there, it fits well :) 

But I can say with certainty that I am going to strive harder to not let the little things that small minded people say and do, get to me.  No bottling it up,.....Just let it go.......I have learned the hard way, (the way I learn everything), that there are those people that I trust with my life, and they in turn, trust me as well.

The others, well, I’m going to be better at keeping my thoughts to myself. (within reason), I need to learn to stop venting to untrustworthy people... that lull you into thinking that they care what bothers you..... but they will throw you under the bus, without a care in the world.

Keeping my thoughts to myself better?... hmmm....This will require work, some are bound to escape from time to time....but I know now, that I cant do this by myself, and that the Lord will help me, (He already knows I need his help), but I am going to ask for it more often.

He is the one that never fails me, that is always there for me. He has never let me down.

 We had a wonderful Christmas, all of our grandkids here together, it was more than I could hope for, if only my sons could have been here, to have all three of my adult children here together at Christmas, it would be my dream.... but maybe that will happen next year.

Mark is in Afghanistan still, I miss him terribly, and I know he misses us, and his family, and those sweet babies....and Matthew, ....well he needs to work out some more stuff before he will ever come home for Christmas.

Its all good, he has to do what he needs to do for himself.

Its his journey. He is very loved and very missed, in spite of what he thinks.

I do love this time of year, sort of like getting a new start, in case you messed up, you get to start from go again.

Its an opportunity to do things better, , at least better than you did the year before...:)  I’m thinking I did a tiny bit better with some things, but there were those things that... lets just say, “needs work”...but I get a  new year, there is hope that I can do better, work out the kinks on the stuff I failed at the year before....

A clean slate if you will :)

At least for this year so far :)

This year for our family Christmas get together, we all did the word Joy... it was interesting what everyone came up with, but I have to say I was pleasantly surprised at all of the stuff they wrote, it was hard to keep it to myself as they were coming in through emails and facebook, but we put them all together, and of course Chuck read them, as I am such a cry baby when it comes to reading anything out loud.

No heart on my sleeve here :)

Joy

“Joy is when you fight your sister for that last piece of cake and you win but decide to split it because she put up a pretty good fight. It is when you achieve something that no one you know has yet. It is when people ask for your help doing something because they think highly enough for you to be capable of doing it.” – Isabella (15)

“Joy was when I was baptized was asked what being a Christian meant to me and I told the pastor and he repeated the JOY I now felt in my heart and knew that it would be with me forever....” – Jasmine (

“Joy is watching your beautiful wife hold your newborn child. Joy is watching your child unwrap their first present and seeing the smile on their face. I could go on and on but I will keep it short and sweet for once. Joy is all around us on a daily basis and many of us do not realize how joyful simple events are. I feel joy every morning when I wake up to face another day and I appreciate the opportunity to impact the lives of others.” – Russell

“Joy is happiness and beauty and spending time with my family” – Gabrielle (14)

“Joy for me is the contentment and peace I feel in my heart through no matter what life brings because the HOLY SPIRIT is there filling my soul... and no one or nothing ever can take it away! I know that no matter what may be --- that anticipation of life eternal awaits me and all will ultimately in the end be” – Debra

“Joy is finding a front parking space and a fast moving checkout line amidst all the Christmas shopping havoc” – Jarred

“Joy is waking up at 4 in the morning to Nolan rustling around.  Picking him up out of his bed, walking down the hall and checking the rooms where your 5 other babies are sleeping, fixing a bottle, sitting down on the couch and starting to feed him while your beautiful wife comes in and sits down next to you, puts her head on your arm and falls asleep.  That is pure joy to me!!!” - Adam 

“Joy is my families happiness-the moments with my children that at the time may seem ordinary, but to me they are anything but that! Seeing my babies for the first time after they were born is probably the most ultimate joy i have experienced! When everyone around me is happy I experience joy to the fullest” – Melissa

“Joy is God… Jesus… that’s all” – Elijah

“To me joy is eating breakfast in bed together while we watch Finding Nemo. – Kimberly

“Joy is happiness, ice-cream, good food, love, fun, money, 2 brothers, 3 sisters, friends and family” – Hunter

“Joy…. A door to your heart.
complete joy ….togetherness with a spouse that loves you as much as you love them.
Tears of joy…..holding your child for the first time.
Bundles of joy.. holding your grandchildren in your arms.
Joy of Family ….hugging parents and siblings, sharing our good times.” – Paul

“Joy – it means to me family and God, shelter, friends and love and when somebody cares and gives for you and that they see you for what you are.  When people are all happy” – Leah

“My joy is when I met T.A. and we married.  I have joy in my heart for my family and especially my grandchildren, and in January there will be a great granddaughter” – Delores

“Joy is happiness and love of my family” – Isaiah

“Joy is seeing Elijah, Hunter, Leah, Madison and Nolan… food, ice-cream, my bff, my family, knowing I have family that I can go to for anything” – Kaylin

“Joy is a woman who loves me, a good glass of whiskey
Joy is a home cooked meal, a Cowboys victory

Joy is when Monday is over and the weekend gets here,
Joy being a part of this family for another great year

Joy is staying young, joy is growing old,
Joy is swimming when it's hot and snuggling when it's cold

Joy is laughing til you cry and loving til you die,
Joy is all around us...don't let it pass you by!” – Ryan

“Joy means to me when somebody is there or somebody gives you a present.  Something that gives me joy is when Jesus died on the cross for our sins.  Joy is a gift that is not wrapped.  To me it is family and friends.  A simple thank-you is joy.  Smiles make me very joyous!” – Madison

“Joy – working in freezing cold weather, prepping bombs to be loaded onto the aircrafts, cursing everything around you… then hearing off in the distance, the sound of your ‘work’ coming to fruition” – Mark

“Of course Joy is my children and grandchildren.  Watching them grow and discovering new thing and their new accomplishment.  But my new Joy is rediscovering my spouse.  Experiencing new things, seeing new places, and meeting new people.  Realizing just how much I love and appreciate my spouse.” – Connie

“Joy is Christmas time-Jesus birthday celebration-being with my family” – Grace

“Comes in different shapes colors and sizes. Joy to me has changed throughout the years.

Growing up, joy was mom and dad making your birthday special. Christmas time growing up,  joy was driving around looking at decorations on Christmas eve and then coming home and opening up presents. Of course joy was getting my own coke without having to share with any siblings.

As I became an adult, the joys were different, it wasn't just about me anymore. Joy was witnessing the birth of my child, listening to him read for the first time, his first touchdown, and his success in school. Saying I do to my beautiful wife was one of the most joyous moments in my life. She and I and the kids will always remember the vacations we had. 

Joy to me now is the watching my kids grow, becoming parents of their own. Their successes in school and the success of a new career. Joy is my grandchildren hugging me, me growing older with my wife, my teams when they win, my work, (most of the time)

Still many joys to come, maybe even another essay at Christmas time.” – Neal

“There are a few meanings of joy to me.  The first definition of joy to me is seeing how excited my babies get whenever they see me.  Another meaning of joy to me is knowing no matter the miles between Mark and I, our love grows stronger.  And the third meaning is I have been so lucky to marry into a very joyous, loving family.” – Ashley

“Joy is cuddling with my husband… looking at my little man’s sweet smiles… having all of our children at home and together are the most joyful times to me!” – Heather

“Joy to me is getting under the hood of a messed up car and trying to fix it without having a clue what’s wrong, and getting it running for the person” – Kevin

“Joy to me is to love God and know He loves us – to love all my family and friends and to know all are happy and well” – Daddy (Paw Paw)

“When I think of the word "joy" I always think of Angels for some reason.  I think it has to do with reading in the scripture of Luke, how the angel said..."I bring you good tidings of great Joy"!

My first memory of joy was getting four dolls for Christmas when I was four years old. Now that is joy, especially if you are four.

Joy for me personally.....  first.. is knowing that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior... he died for me, and he's coming back for me. Amen!!  and Joy to the World!!

I find Joy in my family, my friends, the people in my life that I love, and especially those that love me back..

I feel  great joy in watching my grandkids, in the love they give to us, their sweet little faces looking at us with such love in their eyes. Who could ever ask for more than that? Joy is working hard and doing a good job... playing hard and feeling good about yourself...

I would have to say though , that my biggest joy, is in the love I have and the love I always feel when I look into Chucks eyes.  I have received more  joy from him than I ever felt like I deserved.  He is My fairy tale,  my happily ever after... my one true love....My Joy!!” – Sharon

“The notion of "joy" becomes less and less complicated as I get older.  It's about family and God.  

It is watching our kids grow, learn through experience and come out on the other side that much better and wiser for all of their experiences.  

It is about watching our grandkids evolve from cute little balls of flesh, drool and poop into little kids riding bikes, going to high school and discovering more and more of the world around them, while still retaining some of that childlike wonder for a little while longer.  

It's having that one true partner and soulmate waiting for me with open arms at the end of another long trip, making me feel like her world just got a lot better because I walked through the door.  

And it's knowing that all this is in accordance with God's plan for us, even in spite of our best attempts to screw it up.  He is awesome!” – Chuck

Its all Good!!

Happy New Year!!