The baby is due in July, and Mark is going to Afghanistan in September. Big concern. I think this baby and his older sister really need their Daddy to be with them, so that is a huge concern of mine.
I really cant stand the thought of him having to leave when the baby is still so tiny.
Guess the military sees it differently than I do, and they never ask for my opinion.
Mark just got back from six weeks in Vegas, on something called a tdy, which means temporary duty assignment, or something like that.
Ashley came here for the last three weeks of the time he was gone, after spending the first few weeks with her grandmother in Florida. We are trying to work out our relationship I guess, its hard, I know for me, and I also know that I am not always the easiest person to get to know. We will figure things out I'm sure as time goes by.
I love, love, love, having that little Haiyley with us.
She is just so precious and sweet, and she totally has us both wrapped around her tiny little finger.
We are heading down to Georgia next week to bring Marks furniture to him that he has in storage here, we are pulling a trailer, so that should be a fun time for all.
It will be good to see my boy...
I miss him terribly, havnt seen him since December, and that is just too long.
We will be there on his 23rd birthday, and that will be nice.
We have had a busy year so far. Lots of travel for Chuck. Sometimes he has trips back to back, where he is gone for four to five days, two weeks in a row. I really hate him being gone so much, there just isnt enough sewing or tennis in the world to fill in all the time. The upside to all the travel is, business is good.....and there are the frequent flier mileage points, and the hotel points, which is what we are going to be saving to get to Maui next year. More on that later...
When he is home on the weekends, I just hate doing anything without him. I know, I know....my friends that have been married forever dont get this, I dont expect them to.
Is it crazy that I just like being around him?
First of all, I love him, and everything about him, and, I really like him, he is my best friend and husband. I have fun with him around. I dont dread anything about being with him, as was my previous married experience.
He never gets on my nerves, and he respects me, and trusts me. Dang that trust thing is huge, I never have felt that so completely with anyone before Chuck came into my life.
Its such a great feeling to know that he isnt doing something behind my back, or lying to me, and that at some point I will find out that he has kept something from me, something big, that will be one more notch that will start to peel away the layers of trust, respect and love, until there is nothing left.
Whew!!!, big sigh of relief!!
I no longer sit and wait for the other shoe to drop!!
He never asks more of me than he would ask of himself, and is by far the most giving, and generous person I have ever known in my life.
He is right up there next to my Dad, who I never doubted was the kindest, most generous, giving, loving person I ever knew. I honestly didnt know that there was another like him until I met Chuck.
He gives without expecting something in return, and he makes me strive to be the best person I can be.
What is really weird is that we dont fight. I mean we hardly ever even disagree. We always seem to be in the same chapter of the same book at the same time, and it isnt boring.
What are the odds?
We did have some issues when the kids were still at home, I think the usual, “your kid is a shit,” no, “that would be your kid is a shit”. Normal stuff. There were some really stupid things that we got into it over... times, that are so laughable now. Some were not so funny at the time, but as I look back, I dont remember anything being so bad.
I think the worst thing that Mark ever said about Chuck was, “you know he isnt as funny as he thinks he is”
To which I am thinking, thats it? That is the only thing that you can come up with that you dont like.
The worst fight we ever had in ten years was over toenail clippers.
I have this annoying habit of not putting certain things back where he last put it. I am forever seeking a better spot, or newer place to put something that will be more convenient.
The problem is, I forget where this new and more convenient spot is. And when pressed to remember, I forget even more, so, this whole episode flared up when he was in the process of looking for the clippers, and I was trying to defend my putting them in a better spot, and he said something to the effect of why couldnt I just leave them alone, to which I replied, well, I think it was something like well, too bad...or get over it... but it could have started with the “f” word, and then he used the “f”word back, and so on and so on... then there was a door slam, and then lots of yelling... and then we started laughing at the stupidity of the entire fight, over a pair of toenail clippers. :)
We are not taking a vacation this year, we are saving up to take a big one next year. We are going back to Maui.
This is so exciting, because the first time we went, we were there during 911, and it was so horrible to be so far away, and with all the tragedy that was happening here, all we could think about was getting home.
That was a very strange time. I remember not seeing any planes flying for like two days, and not being able to leave, and not really being able to have a good time either, we felt so guilty. When we finally did get to the airport in Honolulu, there were military everywhere, with guns, and they were going through everyones baggage like piece by piece, and there was a line around the airport, we waited in line for four hours in the heat. All I could think of while in that line, was what the people in New York were experiencing, and going through, losing so many loved ones, and still they were trying to dig out, and figure out why did this all happen.
We did have a couple of amazing days there before 911 happened.
I will always remember how totally beautiful it is there, the smells, and just the warm tropical breeze is awesome.
Makes you just want to make like Jimmy Buffett... and hang out for a while in this paradise place.
I remember snorkeling for the first time.
I was really scared, always have been a bit scared of the water, I almost drowned when I was 12, and you never really get over that feeling.
I am especially afraid of “big water”, like mostly anything bigger than pool water. And then there is that feeling of I cant see all of the stuff and things that might be down there, and crap, there could be sharks or eels, or anything that could possibly be a danger to my life, which I am fond of.
So we rented the mask and fins and all the gear, and we drove the the other side of the island to this place called Honolua Bay. It was the most stunningly beautiful place I had ever seen in my life. The drive itself was breathtaking, each curve around the mountainous drive was more beautiful than the one before. On one side was the spectacular view of the ocean, which by the way was the most beautiful shade of blue that I have ever seen, and the other was this million different shades of green, and lush mountainside. I took a million pictures, and was never able to capture the beauty that I saw with my eyes.
I know I was thinking, why do we need to get in the water, cant we just look at it? :)
But nooo, Chuck was so sure that I was just going to love snorkeling.
We walked through a jungle area to get down to where the water was. When it opened up to the clearing, it honestly took my breath away, it was so beautiful. There were big rocks, all smooth and somewhat treacherous to walk over to get down to the water. And they were hot on bare feet, and impossible to maneuver on with flip flops, much less fins.
It was awkward at best, scary for me. I didnt know how to breath with the snorkle on or relax enough in the water to where I wasnt fighting it. I got about 12 feet out, and had a major panic attack, and hyperventilated. What fun. All I could think of was, dang, I came all the way to this most beautiful place in the world to die.
Suffice to say, Chuck helped me through it, those of you that know me, know that I am extremely determined when I make up my mind I am going to do something. And I had made up my mind on this one thing.
I didnt want to wuss out on this opportunity of a lifetime.
Once I did relax, I loved it... Which is not to say I was over my fear of “big water”
I still dont like “big water”. I have never been able to scrounge up enough courage to get on a jet ski in the ocean, or lake. I actually did try once, but I panicked and jumped off as quick as I got on...It sounds stupid even as I write it down, but it is what it is.
I have been on numerous catamaran sails, and did fine, but I feel so little on one of those jets skis in the middle of the ocean, or lake. I just feel like a shark could have me as a snack and I wouldnt even know what hit me.
Life is certainly too short to worry about all that, so, I just dont worry about jet skis, I just say no, and watch others do it, its no big deal. They can be the bait if they want to. :)
I have been in an extremely creative mood lately, I guess for several months. I totally redid my sewing room, and have it pretty much the way I want it. I have both of my machines set up, with the lighting the way I want it, and even a flat screen tv on the wall, for my viewing and listening pleasure while I sew. Chuck totally gutted my closet and did elfa shelving in there, and it is very sew friendly.
I am very appreciative of all of this. Not just having my own space, but my own sewing room. I so remember learning to sew so long ago, and most of my life all I ever had was a second hand sewing machine and a kitchen table to sew on.
Now I have two machines that do everything but talk to me, and the space to let my imagination run wild and free.
Its awesome! I have a chair and foot stool, to just sit and relax on when I need inspiration... and two dogs that love to sit at my feet while I sew, who could ask for anything more?
Now I am working on another wall hanging I guess, it is very intricate, with lots of applique and embroidery as well.
I’m having a bit of trouble keeping my focus on this, as there are so many pieces, but I know it will eventually start to ‘become” what I want it to be.
If I get bored in the meantime, I can always get out my list of
“things that need to be fixed around here”. There is always something that needs touch up paint, or caulk, or something.
Chuck has spent a lot of his spare time working on the yard, lately, I have helped a bit, but I’m not too into the yard work thing, so to speak, (havnt mowed since 1976), and unless hell freezes over, that will remain that way.
I usually only help when I think he has taken on too much, and will have a stroke or heart attack if he tries to do it by himself, such as laying sod, or putting fill dirt down when its 100 degrees in the shade. Anything that involves a wheelbarrow, I really get into that, (NOT)!!! but I dont want to find him passed out on the ground, because he was just too stubborn to take a break.
So we both are doing our “springly” things around here, and we are both enjoying his “non travel” time for now. He still has to work, but he is in his office downstairs, and that is very comforting having him here.
He is totally healed up from his shoulder surgery and is just now starting to get back into tennis.
We have been drilling some, and he is such a great coach.
He doesnt baby me, and yells just enough to piss me off enough to strive harder.
We have signed up for mixed doubles flex for the summer, and are looking forward to playing together again.
I am sort of taking a mini break from tennis, now that the leagues are over, and we get a couple weeks before the summer season starts up.
I have probably over committed myself once again, but I do love playing, and it keeps me out of trouble. (mostly)
I hope I never get so busy, that I take for granted all the wonderful and beautiful things around me, all the love I have been given.
How blessed I am, and every day to try and take some time to look and notice at least one thing that is good... like the roses are blooming.....
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